• Super Admin
• 07 Mar, 2026

Lawyer, educator, consultant and Philanthropist; Yetunde Ajibade wears many hats, but they all fit a single, powerful mission: Empowerment. Whether she is steering Ace-Michaels Int. Services Ltd. or placing graduates into dream roles through GETWORK NIGERIA, she is a woman who understands that the "hustle" is nothing without heart. Having spent over a decade turning "unemployable" narratives into success stories, Ajibade is now turning her attention to the women sitting at the world's highest tables. Sitting down with IFEOMA OKEKE-KORIEOCHA, she speaks on this year's International Women's Day theme: "Give to Gain" by delivering a masterclass on executive presence, the danger of "quiet hard work," and why "giving" your expertise away is the fastest way to "gain" a seat at the head of the table. You often speak about empowerment. In your experience, how does a woman "give" herself the gift of self-awareness to "gain" authentic confidence in high-stakes environments like Oil & Gas or Banking? I was invited to speak about empowerment at a Corporate IWD event yesterday and I was asked this question about confidence. I always say it is not something that is handed to you, it is something you consciously give yourself. And the first and most powerful gift a woman can give herself is self awareness. In high stakes environments like Oil & Gas or Banking sectors dominated by precision, performance metrics, risk management, and like we know historically male leadership , confidence cannot be cosmetic. It must be rooted. And that rooting begins with clarity. Self awareness means understanding three things Who you are. What you bring. And how you are perceived. When it comes to emotional intelligence which is one of my favorite topics to teach as well as being a student of this myself, self-awareness is the strongest predictor of leadership effectiveness. It is not technical expertise alone that elevates women in executive rooms; it is the ability to regulate emotion under pressure, read the room, and respond strategically. When a woman truly understands her strengths whether analytical thinking, stakeholder management, negotiation, or relationship building she stops shrinking to fit into spaces. Instead, she expands with intention. In sectors you have mentioned performance culture is intense. Targets are aggressive. Boardrooms are decisive. In such spaces, women who lack internal clarity often overcompensate either by overworking to prove themselves or by staying silent to avoid scrutiny. But when self awareness is present, a woman understands her value proposition. She knows, "I am not here by accident. I earned this seat." That internal affirmation changes posture, tone, and negotiation power. Confidence is not loud, it is deeply anchored in competence and clarity. Look at a woman like Ngozi Okonjo Iweala , She knows her intellectual depth, her economic expertise, and her strategic influence. That is authentic confidence not performance confidence. So how does a woman give herself this gift? She reflects intentionally. She audits her patterns. Where do I hesitate? What triggers my insecurity? What environments activate my brilliance? Also seek structured feedback. Not gossip. Not assumptions. But measurable input. This is why 360 degree reviews in global corporations are so powerful . She aligns her identity with purpose. You will never really have a conversation with me without my mention of "PURPOSE " . It may sound cliche but when your work connects to something bigger than approval , talk about impact, legacy, contribution then fear reduces. Authentic confidence is the by product of self knowledge plus competence plus alignment. Empowerment, is not noise. It is knowing yourself so well that even in a room where you are the only woman at the table, you are not intimidated you are informed. And that is the kind of confidence that does not shake under pressure. Many women face the "silent ceiling" of internal doubt. What is one internal barrier you had to "give up" or dismantle to gain the professional freedom you enjoy today? The "silent ceiling" in my opinion is more dangerous than the glass ceiling. The glass ceiling is external policies, biases, structures. But the silent ceiling? That one lives inside you. For me, the internal barrier I had to dismantle was the need to be fully ready before I allowed myself to rise. I used to believe that I needed one more certification, one more validation, one more endorsement before I could confidently step into bigger rooms. Even with degrees, experience, results there was still that whisper: "Are you truly ready?" Women often underestimate their readiness while men apply for roles when they meet only a portion of the criteria. That difference is not competence. It is conditioning. That silent voice is also closely tied to another topic I love to discuss in my women leadership classes , what Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes identified as Impostor Phenomenon . the persistent belief that your success is accidental or undeserved. The focus should be excellence. "I give the best to be my best " When excellence becomes normal, women deal with that internal doubt without even thinking about it. The barrier I had to give up was perfectionism disguised as humility. I had to understand that waiting to feel completely confident before acting was a trap. Confidence does not precede action, it follows action. I also had to dismantle the belief that visibility is arrogance. Many women are culturally conditioned especially in African contexts where we are from to equate modesty with silence. But I realized that shrinking does not serve impact. If your expertise can solve problems, silence is not humility ,it is limitation. I learned from first understanding that I am created for dominance as a woman of faith. I do not diminish my voice in conversations. I speak with clarity and conviction not because I am flawless, but because I understand the weight of my contribution. Professional freedom came when I stopped asking, "Am I allowed?" and started asking, "How can I serve at a higher level?" Giving up internal doubt did not mean the voice disappeared. It meant I stopped negotiating with it. Today, when I get that feeling of doubt, I respond with evidence , results delivered, lives impacted, rooms influenced. Evidence silences insecurity. So the internal barrier I dismantled was the need for external permission. The moment I gave that up, I gained freedom, freedom to speak boldly, to pitch audacious ideas, to lead without apology, and to occupy space without shrinking. And I truly believe that when women dismantle that internal ceiling, external ceilings begin to crack. As a Montessori founder, you understand not harsh judgment foundational growth. How can women re-parent their own inner critic to build a confidence that isn't dependent on external validation? I deeply believe that everything goes back to foundation. This why I took my time to study Early Childhood Education adopting the Montessori method for my schools. Maria Montessori taught that the child is not empty, the child is absorbing. The environment shapes belief before language even forms. And many of the limiting voices we carry today were planted very early through culture, comparison, correction, or conditional praise. So when we speak about "re-parenting" the inner critic, we are really speaking about consciously rebuilding internal foundations. The inner critic is often a borrowed voice. It may sound like society saying, "Don't be too ambitious." It may sound like culture saying, "Don't be too visible." It may even sound like past authority figures who rewarded performance but not identity. To re-parent that voice, a woman must first recognize it is not her true voice. In Montessori classrooms, we prepare the environment so that the child develops independence, not dependence on constant approval. The same principle applies to adult confidence. If your confidence is built only on applause, titles, or promotions, it becomes fragile. The moment validation withdraws, your identity shakes. There is something I read that Brené Brown wrote about true belonging not requiring you to change who you are; but to accept who you are. So as a woman to re-parent yourself you shift from criticism to coaching. Instead of "You are not good enough,"reframe to What skill needs strengthening?" That is how a healthy parent corrects not with shame, but with guidance. It is important to separates mistake from identity. In early childhood education, we correct the action, not the child. We do not label a child "bad"; we say, "That choice needs adjustment." Women must apply the same grace internally. A failed presentation does not mean "I am incompetent." It means, "That strategy needs refinement." Build an internal reward system, celebrate effort, growth, discipline not just outcomes. Foundationally, confidence is built the same way a child learns to walk through supported attempts, not harsh judgment, the child could fall but will rise again. Executive presence is often seen as an "extra." How do you teach women to use their visual and verbal language to gain command of a room without losing their unique feminine identity? Executive presence is not an accessory. It is strategy. Too often, women are told that presence is about fashion, posture, or voice projection. Noooo , there's more it. Executive presence is really about alignment between who you are, what you know, and how you communicate it. And this is the key: command does not require masculinity. It requires clarity. When I teach women about executive presence, I focus on three dimensions . visual language, verbal language, and energetic language. For visual language. Before you speak, you have already communicated, non verbal communication is perception. How you show up visually affects how your message is received. This does not mean suppressing femininity. It means intentionality. Structure in tailoring. Clean lines. Grooming that signals precision. Your appearance should say: "I respect this room. And I respect myself" Then verbal language. Many women soften their authority unconsciously What I teach is assertive clarity without aggression. You can be firm, data driven, emotionally intelligent and unmistakably feminine. You don't need to raise or lower her voice to be taken seriously; strengthen your argument. With energetic language this is the one most people ignore. Energy is the emotional tone you bring into a room. Anxiety contracts energy. Clarity expands it. When a woman is internally settled, she does not fidget, over explain, or rush. She pauses. And pause is power, I had to learn this myself. Executive presence is not about becoming louder. It is about becoming grounded. And here is where feminine identity matters deeply. Feminine leadership should bring relational intelligence, empathy, collaboration. In fact, emotional intelligence, is now seen as a core executive competency. So I tell women: Do not trade warmth for authority. Integrate them. You can be polished and compassionate. Decisive and graceful. Structured and empathetic. The goal is not to imitate a male leadership template. The goal is to refine your own. Because when visual precision, verbal clarity, and internal alignment come together, a woman does not just enter a room she anchors it, I tell you, that is executive presence. The theme "Give to Gain" suggests that by sharing our expertise, we gain visibility. How can women move away from "quiet hard work" and toward a model of being seen and heard strategically? Quiet hard work" is admirable but it is often invisible. Many women were raised to believe that excellence will automatically be noticed. But visibility is not accidental. It is strategic. The principle of "Give to Gain" means contribution must be intentional and positioned. Women must shift from private excellence to public value. That means speaking up in meetings, sharing insights in industry forums, publishing thought leadership internally or externally, and documenting results. If you led a successful project, articulate the impact. Visibility grows when value is translated into language. Also, move from execution to influence. career advancement is more dependent on strategic networks and visibility than on competence alone. Build alliances, volunteer for projects, and contribute ideas beyond your job description , this positions you as a leader, not just a performer. Another thing is to detach visibility from arrogance. Many women equate self promotion with pride. But strategic visibility is not self glorification it is clarity about contribution. You can say: "I led this initiative, and it increased revenue by this percentage. That is not bragging. That is reporting impact. "Give to Gain" means: share your expertise generously, articulate your results clearly, and participate visibly in rooms where decisions are made. Hard work builds competence but visibility builds opportunity. And when women combine both, they do not just work in the system, they shape it. In your management consulting work, what is the one "presence" mistake you see brilliant women make that costs them organizational impact? The most costly "presence" mistake I see brilliant women make is over explaining, over explaining dilutes authority. This is from my experience. Sometimes we feel the need to justify every angle of our thinking. We anticipate objections before they are raised. At some point I would be quiet on meetings over analyzing my thoughts and ideas. Sitting in a meeting of about 15 to 20 men and I am one of 2 or 3 women. That's the internal ceiling I mentioned earlier. And what happens? The message I am trying to pass on gets buried. Presence is not about how much you say. It is about how clearly you land your point. When a woman speaks with clarity she commands attention without raising her voice. And when she stops over explaining, she stops shrinking. Organizational impact is not just about intelligence. It is about influence. And influence requires disciplined communication. That in my opinion is presence and that shift changes everything. There is often a narrative of competition among women in leadership. How do we shift the "Queen Bee" syndrome into a "Giving" culture where one woman's gain is a win for the entire collective? Leadership in Corporate environments and business in general is still dominated by men , although we are seeing more women at the top more than ever before . Back then there were very few seats available to women. So unconsciously, some women began to protect their access rather than multiply it. When representation is rare, competition intensifies. Some women feel they must distance themselves from other women to survive in male dominated systems. So the solution is not for us to start accusing one another. We should fix this together. Mentorship for younger professionals and specifically sponsorship for other women not just mentorship. Mentorship advises. Sponsorship advocates. In most institutions, careers accelerate when someone in power says your name in rooms you are not yet in. A "Giving" culture means deliberately recommending, endorsing, and positioning other women for opportunities. Then the issue of comparison Comparison fuels competition. But when a woman has come to a place of clarity about who she is another woman's promotion does not diminish her value. It expands what is possible. As we celebrate another IWD , we should celebrate ourselves visibly. When a woman publicly acknowledges another's achievements, collaborate and share platforms, we change this narrative. The shift from "Queen Bee" to collective elevation happens when we move from survival mindset to legacy mindset. If I am clear about my value, I am not threatened by yours. And when one woman rises and intentionally extends her hand backward, she does not lose power she multiplies it. That is what I believe"Give to Gain" should look like. How does an organization "gain" when it "gives" women the space to lead? Can you share a moment where your intervention as a consultant fundamentally shifted a company's culture? When an organization gives women the space to lead, it does not lose control , it gains capacity. Diversity at leadership level is not a social gesture; it is strategy. We are vision carriers, we nuture till maturity. Inclusive leadership leads to better outcomes. We've heard the saying that men are logical, women emotional, this is not true in all cases but a balance wouldn't be a bad idea. I have several examples, let me give you one. I once worked with an organization where the executive team was technically strong but culturally imbalanced. The women in middle management were highly competent, yet they were rarely invited into strategic conversations. Through the intervention of my team, we introduced three shifts. We started by implementing cross functional strategic forums where emerging female leaders presented directly to senior executives. Then we conducted executive presence and influence training ; not to "fix" the women, but to refine visibility and voice. We also worked with the male executives to address unconscious bias in performance evaluation and their meeting dynamics. Within a year, something powerful happened. Innovation across the organization improved because ideas were no longer filtered through one leadership lens. What fundamentally shifted was not just representation, it was culture. The organization moved from "allowing women to participate" to "expecting women to shape outcomes." That is the gain. When women are given space, organizations gain depth, sustainability and emotional intelligence in leadership, and broader strategic thinking. Giving women leadership space is not charity. It is intelligent governance. With GETWORK NIGERIA, you've given young graduates a lifeline. What have you personally "gained" from a decade of philanthropy that your legal or marketing degrees couldn't teach you? My legal training taught me structure. My marketing degree taught me strategy. But GETWORK NIGERIA taught me humanity and patience. When we started GETWORK NIGERIA, the goal was simple , bridge the gap between academic qualification and workplace readiness for young graduates especially after working closely with unemployed and underemployed youth over the years in Nigeria and across Africa. Degrees do not teach you what hopelessness looks like in the eyes of a first class graduate who has faced five years of rejection. They do not teach you how unemployment erodes confidence, identity, and ambition. Through this journey, I gained insights that no formal education could have given me. Watching a young graduate move from uncertainty to confidence, from job seeker to value creator, reshaped my understanding of growth. Transformation is gradual. It is not instant. It also strengthened my perspective on purpose. Service and social impact gives you the power to transform. And in giving mentorship, structure, access and confidence, I gained clarity about my own calling. The Co- Founder Bunmi Omeke and I just replicated our relationship on a larger scale with Nigerian graduates . I met Bunmi when she was a young lawyer but she had this drive and spark that made me see myself in her, she watched me succeed, she watched me fail at other times . Today she is a force transforming any room she walks into and remains one of my most important support systems and she sees me as a mentor. I have learned the true meaning of loyalty with her. Titles and accolades mean little if they do not translate into tangible impact. Working with young people forced me to simplify complex ideas, to listen more deeply, and to innovate with limited resources. Giving does not reduce you it refines you. Give something; your time, money, mentorship. I don't expect any young person around me to make the same mistakes I made, I walked so you can fly. For me , it is a privilege watching lives change and that is a return no degree or material things can offer. As we celebrate "Give to Gain," what is your challenge to the woman who has reached the top but hasn't yet reached back to pull another up? The question I would ask is "What does success mean to you? Achievement or Legacy? Reaching the top in any sector whether in finance, energy, law, consulting or business requires sacrifice, resilience, and competence. No woman arrives there accidentally. For me, it's not just about how high I have risen but how wide my impact is. Sponsor talent. Sponsorship is not charity; it is strategy. It strengthens succession plans and builds continuity. If you are the only woman in the room, ask yourself why. Are you the problem or the system? These are questions we should be asking ourselves. Is it because there are no other capable women? Or because you have not intentionally created access? If you ask me how you can create access, I can tell you. * Recommend a younger woman * Sponsor another woman * Share lessons you learned the hard way, never paint a perfect picture that doesn't exist, encourage others with your story on resilience and discipline * Open strategic doors for others Let's take it out even to everyday life. Support the market women, support our First Ladies, the First Lady, support women who are audacious enough to go into politics or decide to join the military. We go through the same challenges as mothers, wives, daughters, women in business and careers. Be a shoulder to lean on. It is also important that I state that we should support the men and collaborate with them. At the end of the day, different parts make the whole. When women compete, one wins.When women collaborate, systems change. "Give to Gain" means understanding that your elevation was never meant to be a solo victory. It was meant to be a platform. Do not just break ceilings. Build ladders. Because the true measure of leadership is not the height you attain it is the leaders who rise because you decided to extend your hand. Source: https://businessday.ng/bd-weekender/article/when-a-woman-understands-her-strengths-she-stops-shrinking-to-fit-into-spaces-yetunde-ajibade/